Advice for Newbies

Hey NJYP Veterans! 

You know who you are.  You attend at least one event a month, you were a Member on the old website(s), you walk into a Happy Hour and everyone calls your name, you may even HOST events.

Let's help the Newbies out (they keep pouring in) by giving them some "first event" advice.  Perhaps you can:
- Suggest what to do if they attend alone.
- Share how you felt at your first event.
- Recommend a type of event that is good for first-timers (game night vs single mingle vs happy hour, etc).
- Tell them what to expect.

If your advice helps get at least one Newbie out, that is one more person you can potentially make friends with (or network with or date).

Thanks in advance!
Laura






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Permalink Reply by Christine Rydzik on April 4, 2011 at 5:36pm

Ok, so I am a little late posting here, but better late than never, right?!  I’ve been a part of NJYP for 6+ years or so.  My 1st event was a happy hour.  I went by myself.  I can still remember how apprehensive I was going alone.  I was soooo scared and sooo nervous.   But then I remember saying “honestly, what is the WORST that can happen, this IS a networking group?”.  Laura hosted and she knew how nervous I was, she introduced me to a group of people and that was that.  Within minutes I was “myself” and the mingling started.

 

I think a happy hour or a speed friendling is the best event to attend by yourself.  A happy hour is very social, everyone is there for the same reason to “get out and make friends”.  Make sure you introduce yourself to the host and let them know its your 1st event.  The host will be sure to make your first introduction to help take the edge off YOU introducing yourself.   While the different “clutches” of people can look intimidating, don’t be intimidated! Feel free to walk up to everyone and join in the conversation and introduce yourself.  Everyone is there for the same purpose and most people are very welcoming to their conversations.   Speed friendling is also another great 1st event! 

 

My advice is to step out of your comfort zone and just do it – attend an event.   You have nothing to lose, only something to gain!   If your 1st event is a Bergen County event please look for me I would love to meet you!

 

 

 

Permalink Reply by Peter on April 15, 2011 at 11:16am

So I consider myself a "veteran" in that I've been a part of NJYP since back in the Yahoo group days but I haven't been to a ton of events in the past 2 years. I'm back in the swing of things now so hopefully see and meet a whole new crowd of you in 2011!

 

The very first event I think I ever went to was either a hike or a happy hour. I totally echo the comments about a "common purpose" being a bonding experience. The happy hours were a little odd at first if you fly solo, so it's good to bring a friend from home if you're nervous. It REALLY is about just walking up to a group and politely joining the conversation. Someone mentioned earlier that everyone else there IS just like you-there to meet new people so it's never like you're a lone gun or anything,

 

Highly recommend the happy hours, hikes, game nights, Spring Fling, Stupid Cupid AND the Networking/Mixer events. They are probably the BEST networking you can do in NJ currently. Relax and be yourself and keep an open mind and ANY NJYP event can be a ton of fun.

Permalink Reply by April on August 11, 2011 at 10:43am
I am a newbie, looking forward to reading what the vets say! Just joined today!
Permalink Reply by Steven on August 27, 2011 at 10:25am
Good comments. I look forward to attending my first event!
Permalink Reply by Bill on April 20, 2012 at 8:49pm

I have to say I think Jessica's response is the most help.  I totally chickened out tonight on "Spring Fling."  I talked it over with a bunch of people and the issue was that I couldn't find anyone to come with me.  This would have been my first NJYP event but I know nobody there.  Most of my friends were telling me it would be weird for me to go and not know anybody.  I think Jessica's response about doing something that you are really interested in like hiking or game night makes a lot of sense.  On that note, I'm going to NYC for some karaoke with a buddy, so hopefully all is not lost.

Bill

Jessica said:

I joined NJYP back in June 2005, so i think i qualify :)

My very first event was a Game Night and I came by myself. I think it's an awesome way to meet people because there's something to do/talk about immediately once you start playing games! My second event was a Happy Hour which i didn't like as much because I didn't know anyone there, and I hate going up to groups of people I don't know because I feel like i'm butting in. People who know me refuse to believe that i'm shy, but when I don't know a single person in the entire room, I don't know where to begin! Now i'm an "oldbie" so Happy Hours are fun because the more events you attend, the more people you get to know!

Single Mingles are great too. My husband and I met at an NJYP Single Mingle (although we technically met at 2 other NJYP events before that, but he asked for my number at the Single Mingle), so we're proof they do work :)

I also think the hikes are awesome, even though i haven't been able to go to any of them recently.

My advice is just to find things that interest you on the event schedule, and you'll find like-minded people at them. Good luck! :)
Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on May 23, 2012 at 8:01pm

This is great Laura,I just joined and I can't wait. taking in all the advice. Keep it coming in guys.

Permalink Reply by Lizzie on August 3, 2012 at 9:45pm

I met my husband in NJYP...you could find your husband too ladies! ;)

Permalink Reply by Michelle on May 6, 2014 at 4:09pm

Noob right here.  I admittedly have a bit of social anxiety and get quite nervous when meeting strangers, especially in loud, crowded areas, so for me personally, I think it would be best to initially meet just a couple of NJYP members (3-4 of us would be fine) in a moderately quiet environment for the first time.

I'm also not much of a drinker, so a place with non-alcoholic options would be great!  I also like the idea of a game night.  I like Apples to Apples.

Permalink Reply by Ravi on May 6, 2014 at 5:31pm

I second that Michelle..!!

Permalink Reply by Edward on May 9, 2014 at 12:59pm

Best answer yet by Tony Panariella.

Unless of course you substitute beer for scotch or whiskey (even bourbon).  Then you're making magic.

No man enjoys talking to a girl who doesn't drink a real drink.


Tony Panariello said:

Beer. Lots and lots of beer.
Permalink Reply by Paul on November 24, 2014 at 8:48pm

Laura,

Thankyou for suggesting this!  I am new to njyp myself and it is a bit over whelming when you do not know anybody.   I attended one of the happy hours for my first event and it went well.  It was very low key and I met some friendly people.  For my second event however, I attended one of the Single Mingle events and this was much more overwhelming.  I am not really into the bar and club scene so meeting at this type of place is new for me.  For my third event, I have signed up for one of the hikes outdoors.  I enjoy this type of activity more and am hoping it will be a nice time.  If there is any advice a veteran can give it would be much appreciated.  Thank-you!

Paul

Permalink Reply by Brian and Mike on November 24, 2014 at 10:48pm

:)

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