How Much Will the Wedding Cost?

Congratulations! You’re engaged. Hopefully the ring is paid in full and you can plan to start your life together without incurring debt. When you start the planning process, don’t begin with “How much does an average wedding cost?” Start with “How much do we have saved for (or can we save before) the big day?” Do not go into debt, or put your parents in debt, executing an extravagant wedding. Leave the wedding reception knowing your wedding and your honeymoon are paid in full and not on the credit card with a 16 percent interest rate. Plan your wedding so the wedding gifts can help pay for your next step and not one day.

Make a list of what you must have (e.g. cake), what would be nice but you could live without (e.g., eight-tiered cake with a fountain) and what would be a dream (cake prepared by The Cake Boss). Then get at least three prices for everything. Find out what you'll be paying for and what your parents or others might be pitching in for. Find out who can help you by making things like centerpieces or who you know who could sing as part of their gift. Or barter for their service. Can you babysit their kids? Do their taxes this year? Drive them to the airport? Make a decision and stick with it to do what's in your budget.

Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Food, Venue, Reception

• Have a buffet, but don’t go overboard with the choices. People like to try a little bit of everything. Stick to the basics: Chicken, beef and pasta (works for vegetarians).
  
• Order a small tiered cake for the cake-cutting ceremony along with a sheet cake for guests. Once it’s sliced, it all looks the same.
  
• Have an appetizer and dessert reception. Perhaps considere a Southern specialty, keep it simple and relaxing.
  
• Offer beer and wine instead of open bar. You can spread the word that you’re sharing your favorite wines and malt beverages. Or skip the liquor altogether.
  
• Put together a team of friends (or mom’s friends) who love to cook or bake and ask them to cater the meal. Tell them your desires and then ask one of them to coordinate everything.
  
• Cater from your local grocery store.
  
• Host the reception in the church hall, local rental hall or family home.
  
• Look on eBay for a cake-topper and other decorative supplies.
  
• Give one wedding favor per couple/single instead of one to every guest.
  
• Ask a friend with a craft skill to create a simple favor as his/her gift.
  
• Skip the DJ and the band. Download your favorites to an mp3 player and plug it into the sound system. Ask your guests to send one or two of their favorites to include.
  
• Keep your guest list intimate and have a big party later. Your party can be more casual.

Invitations

• Print your own on pre-printed paper.
  
• Create an e-vite.
  
• Have people respond online instead of sending extra envelopes and stamps.
  
• Include a link to the venue instead of printing directions.

The Bridal Party

• Tell your bridal party that you are working with a budget (whether big or small). Ask them to honor your fiscal responsibility by not being extravagant when planning pre-wedding activities for the bride and groom.
  
• Keep it small. Honor other friends by having them do a reading or being a greeter.
  
• Don’t make your rehearsal dinner another wedding reception. Keep it casual with pizza or sandwiches.
  
• Don’t spend a fortune on bridal party gifts. You don’t have to “make up for” their expenses.
  
• Order a limousine for the bride and groom only. Ask the bridal party to carpool together (someone has to bring the cars anyway).
  
• Check the floral departments in larger grocery stores to see if they do weddings.
  
• Order flowers that are in season. Tulips in January will be more expensive than in May.
  
• Create your own photos with online photo album services.
  
• Have your bridal party do their own hair, make-up and nails rather than paying for their treatments or a day at the spa.
  
• Bypass expensive designer labels (even for the bride and groom).

Honeymoon

• Pay for it before you go and pay cash while you’re there.
  
• Make it drivable. Pick up a “conversation starter” book to help you pass the time and discover more about each other. Try The Book of Fabulous Questions: Great Conversation Starters About Love, Sex and Other Personal Stuff or Intimate Questions: 459 Ways to Bring You Closer.
• Rent a timeshare either through a friend or online. You can have find luxury accommodations at great prices.
  
• Check your wholesale club for vacation packages.
  
• Leave the dream vacation for a special anniversary.

Finally, resist the urge to give into peer pressure after you attend your friend’s $40,000 wedding that his parents paid for. If you’re parents want to give you $40,000, spend $10,000 on the wedding and put $30,000 down on a house. Don’t think that because you’re having a backyard wedding that you’ll look cheap or that your guests will be less generous with their gifts. Guests typically have a standard wedding gift amount they stick to.

Your wedding will be beautiful when you let your love and commitment to each other shine through. Marriage is hard work (hope we’re not bursting any bubbles) and it will be harder if you begin in the hole.

For more wedding planning tips, visit MoneyMattersNJ.


Carolyn Hook is the Membership/Operations Manager at the New Jersey Society of CPAs. She and her husband Joe paid for their own wedding. They had 110 guests and came in under their $6,000 budget including an island honeymoon. The day was everything they wanted. They will celebrate their 18th anniversary in October 2010.