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Debate: Jewish Single and Interracial Dating
So... I have been getting a lot of requests lately to do Speed Dating events for “Jewish Singles” and for “Interracial Dating”. I’ve avoided these two niches because it is not possible for me to cover every religion or to cover every race. I want to be fair, I do not want to make Members mad but at the same time I want to continue to give Members what they want.
That being said… tell me why I should and SHOULD NOT do these two niche events.
That being said… tell me why I should and SHOULD NOT do these two niche events.
Views: 763
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Laura Labriola on
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give the people what they want! Anyone who doesn't agree with the event should just not attend :-) If there are enough people who are interested to make it worthwhile holding an event then that's justification enough to have it.
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Permalink Reply by Tim B on
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I think the premise of NJYP is to have a group centered around NJ. There are other venues for these "niche" needs and NJYP doesn't need to be everything to everyone. I feel like the most happy hours, speed dating and mixers are mixed race so if that's what you like take advantage of those events.
Jewish singles ...well there's JDate. If you are not happy with that and feel very passionate about Jewish singles then organize your own NJ based group. Promote it within NJYP. Get a banner on the side. Laura I want a piece of the affiliate fees :-)
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Permalink Reply by Lizzie on
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OMG! I would love to have a Penn State alumni with Scandinavian roots event! Even though I'm not Scandinavian, that's OK! Cause anyone can join in and have a good time!
Rebecca Missel said:All right - I'll jump in the pool first and say that I can completely agree with you that it's a complicated issue and potentially very challenging. At the same time, as a Jewish person who prefers to date other Jews, having an NJYP event geared to my specific dating needs would be great.
Fairness is always important in our society and I think NJYP does a great job with keeping balance between the different counties, ages, different types of activities, weekdays versus weekends, etc. But we all know those are far more objective measures of fairness than race, religion or ethnicity.
My best suggestion for doing these very niche events would be to try them out for a brief period like 3-6 months and see what the member response is. If you're getting bombarded by requests for "Penn State alumni with Scandinavian roots" dating, then it may have gone too far. But if folks are happy with just a few subspecialities like Jewish, interracial, Asian, or Christian and it brings new people to NJYP, then it may be worth your while.
Good luck whatever you decide!
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Permalink Reply by Leah on
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I second Rebecca and Laura. I don't find religious or ethnic events to be "exluding" other people..they simply cater to those who choose to attend. If it's not your thing, just don't go. I think these kinds of events would be popular and be doing a great service. Plus, it's hard to know who is of a certain religion, especially Jews, when going to just regular events.
Yes, Jewish people have Jdate - but that's about it. Plus, Jdate is a different kind of service altogether. It isn't a "community" of people that meet, network, and friend each other like NJYP. Also, its far more popular and effective in large urban areas like NYC, so having an NJYP event in Jersey would be fantastic.
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Permalink Reply by Rachel O! on
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I agree w/ Rebecca and also with Sharif and Tim. It would be nice to address specific groups, but at the same time it will be difficult to accommodate all groups down the line (fairness).
As for the interracial bit. NJ is such a hotbed for diversity - most happy hours/mixers have representation across the board .... Unless folks are requesting a specific race-race then that's just creepy.
Bottom line: you can't make everyone happy. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
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So would it be creepy for me to propose a NJYP yellow fever event? Baaaaa!!
Rachel O! said:I agree w/ Rebecca and also with Sharif and Tim. It would be nice to address specific groups, but at the same time it will be difficult to accommodate all groups down the line (fairness).
As for the interracial bit. NJ is such a hotbed for diversity - most happy hours/mixers have representation across the board .... Unless folks are requesting a specific race-race then that's just creepy.
Bottom line: you can't make everyone happy. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
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Permalink Reply by Craig Wall on
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The only reason I would be against it is if scheduling one of these would replace another Speed Dating event. I wouldn't want to have fewer all-inclusive events in favor of making some of them "niche".
I don't consider "Jewish Singles" dating much different in essence than the "Tall Men" speed dating we're already doing now. So as long as there's both enough demand and enough scheduling room to fit it in, it shouldn't be a problem.
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Permalink Reply by Michael Park on
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While I don't find this a serious, controversial issue, I do believe diversity and equality should be encouraged at NJYP events. Singles should be willing to meet people of all backgrounds, personalities, jobs, etc.. Specific group functions might be acceptable in a group of millions, a group of 2,000 should probably avoid it.
There are already events that are going that path by requiring a certain physical characteristic, such as the speed dating that requires men be 5'10" or taller (while not imposing any physical restrictions for the women). It would be like creating a speed-dating event where the women had to be skinny or have big... feet.
However, at the end of the day, I agree with Laura L.'s post.. If there are enough people who want something and enough people will attend, it might be worth a shot!
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Permalink Reply by Marisa Nogueira on
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"It would be like creating a speed-dating event where the women had to be skinny or have big... feet."
LOL. that's hysterical.
I kind of have to agree, even if there's a demand, I don't think this group is really about that. It's about unifying young professionals in NJ from all backgrounds and all walks of life.
Speed dating is supposed to be fun anyway.... I don't know if you're supposed to go into it expecting to meet your future husband/wife lol... lol. it's supposed to just be a fun way to meet new people you may have not met otherwise.
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Permalink Reply by Steve Brown on
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I side with Rebecca (and others) - there are a few very simple Jewish singles groups in the state centered in counties, but as someone who's attended a few of them it was tough for them to get the ball rolling, never much talent in a county and tough to promote.
Religion is a tough thing, but meeting people at bar events and finding out their religion rarely go hand in hand - having such events as one-offs would be more than acceptable in my opinion. Jdate is kinda pathetic at times and the events in NYC are impossible as most NYC denizens will run as soon as you say "New Jersey," not to mention "Morristown." From a Catholic friend I've had a similar conversation with, it's tough for them to find out or to ask without seeming weird on first meeting, so Jews are not alone in this.
Creating Jewish, Catholic, certain races etc would be acceptable in my opinion. As part of a growing community, finding ways of servicing their needs is ways of keeping it growing.
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Permalink Reply by Brian and Mike on
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Well, NJYP is about bringing people together and often people are brought together over commonalities such was wine, games, food, industry, singleness, etc. Nearly all the events you see on the calendar now were inspired by suggestions from Members. Members then “vote” on whether they like an even by RSVPing or buying tickets.
I think maybe the question should be: “If there was a Jewish Only singles event on the calendar how would it effect you?”.
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Sharif- I think though if I ran NJYP based on "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" there would be no forward growth at all. For instance, NJYP was fine before I started doing Friending events.. but I had requests, gave it a try, and as a result Friending events have been a very popular addition to the calendar and they have produced MANY great friendships.
I think life (and business) is about trial and error. If by 2011 we end up with 20 different types of Speed Dating events that sell out, isn't that a GOOD thing! NJYP started with 1-3 events per month.. we are up to 20 to 30 events a month... why not go for 30 to 40 events per month if there is a need and the resources exist :)
Sharif M. said:Its a slippery slope, in my opinion. If there's enough individuals of Indian background that requests it, would you do an Indian-only singles event (Members - this is only for illustration purposes...)? How about a Christian/Catholic-only singles event? The list goes on and on, but you get my point. Once you set the wheels in motion, where does it end? Will you alienate or rub people in the wrong way by doing this? Not sure, but what you already have in place works (by including EVERYONE); and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Any person that wants to do a Jewish singles event can easily make a post to this forum and ask other Jewish Singles if they would all like to meet up for drinks, etc. Is this not the case? If it is the case, why can't they do it? I don't believe that any other NJYP members would be offended.
Members - would this bother you?
SAM
Laura Occhipinti said:Well, NJYP is about bringing people together and often people are brought together over commonalities such was wine, games, food, industry, singleness, etc. Nearly all the events you see on the calendar now were inspired by suggestions from Members. Members then “vote” on whether they like an even by RSVPing or buying tickets.
I think maybe the question should be: “If there was a Jewish Only singles event on the calendar how would it effect you?”.
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